Thursday, December 16, 2010


Well, I'm back from another hiatus from Blogtown. No good excuses really - just no time and no creativity. I went back and read my previous blogs and, let me tell you, things have drastically changed. Well, except that I'm still dog tired. And, I feel like I have no time to myself. Oh, and I have no clue what today's date is...erm, so maybe things haven't changed that much. As I had suspected, over the past number of months, I've come to realize more things that I wish They would've told me. Again, feel free to add to my list, whether I'm at that stage or not, because that false sense of preparedness really does wonders! So, without further ado...

They could've mentioned that....

1. Poop can wreak havoc on a family. Constipation, I'm talking to you.

2. The pediatrician will always find SOMETHING for you to follow up on, no matter how big or small. I'm convinced there's commission involved somewhere.

3. Even when you've got things covered, time is still spent on wondering how things might not be covered, or how they can be better covered. Let it go, mediocrity is the new perfection.

4. Babies do quirky things and look weird sometimes. It doesn't necessarily mean there's a developmental issue.

5. Even though you very much know that most people are not as invested in your baby as you are, you still have that desperate urge to post a zillion pictures with hopes of acquiring a few converts who appreciate the awesomeness that is your baby (deep down, though, you realize that this is likely not the case).

6. Babies claw like rabid animals.

7. Even though they're tiny, babies are resilient little creatures.

8. Babies are little weebles with very round bottoms. Weeble + soft bed + nimble movements = Hello, Floor. Good thing for #7.

9. While you are clapping and making a fool out of yourself that your baby is now crawling, pulling to stand, will also be thinking in the back of your mind "please, no."

10. Even though you survived childhood with cardboard boxes, keys, and balls, you will feel the urge to buy that fancy $40 plastic toy with all the bells and whistles because the experts say how great it is for bringing out your child's inner savant. Too bad you know that your savant is just going to drool on it and smack herself in the head with it, but alas, you buy the damn thing anyway.

11. "Pregnancy brain" is a misnomer. That mental fog and memory deficit you feel while pregnant and then on maternity leave is actually your new brain taking over. That's right, you just traded that sharp lamborghini brain of yours in for a pinto.