Tuesday, September 20, 2011


ALL. It's a three letter word, but it grows to have such a profound, complicated meaning. I've quickly learned that once you transition to motherhood (and maybe, for some men, fatherhood), the big question is "Can you have it all?" And everyone's "all" is different on the specifics, but generally the same: spouse, career, home, friends, hobbies and leisure time, the latest Apple toys, and kids. It's interesting to me, though, that we typically (I realize I'm about to generalize) ponder this heavy question once the latter are brought into our lives. Why is that? I guess they bring a whole other level of responsibility, complication, scheduling, and chaos to the table. Anyway, I don't know that we explicitly and consciously ask ourselves "Can I have it all?", but the take home message always seems to boil down to that. Whether we're juggling daycare schedules with work schedules, trying to walk the dog, make lunch, and feed the baby at the same time by ourselves, or, God forbid, fitting in an eyebrow wax appointment, at some point you wonder how the hell you're going to manage it.

So, if you're going to put me on the spot and make me come up with an answer to the question, I would say, "Yes, you can have it all. But only if you're willing to do it all...and if you're willing to feel like a [tired] fool sometimes in the process." Yeah. That would be my answer. Bottom line is, you can have as much as you want, but you also have to accept that perfection will be compromised at times (let's be honest, at MANY times) and you'll have to take full responsibility for the consequences. You know, being broke thanks to blowing your monthly budget on cover-up for those dark circles, juuuuuust missing that deadline, a grumpy spouse or kid, or bushy eyebrows and unpainted toenails. Something's gotta give in the process. But, if something's gotta give in the process, does that mean we truly have it ALL? See how I did that right there? Turned it right around to say the exact opposite of what I've been preaching. This, my friends, is the reason women (and maybe men?) still ask this question.

 What do you think - Can you have it ALL?