Friday, May 14, 2010


So, the title says it all. Well almost. It's all about the punctuation, people. Right about now I'm feeling the period, the question mark, and the exclamation point. I'M A MOTHER. The period makes the most simple and pure statement of the recent change in roles in my life. I'm a wife, daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, friend, and - yes - now a mother. I'M A MOTHER? The question mark captures my disbelief in this change in roles and the fact that I am now responsible for the well-being of a little human being, despite still feeling like a kid myself at times. Almost 3 weeks have passed since we welcomed Baby Leila into our lives, but it still does not feel real. When people ask how we're adjusting, with humor I respond that I have moments when I expect her parents to show up at our door ready to take her back home. Although I joke, it's true. But those are just moments - which, quite honestly, are fueled by the grueling feeding schedule and the seemingly never ending sleep deprivation. The many other moments are captured by the exclamation point...I'M A MOTHER! It's such an exciting transition, albeit overwhelming. Two days after Leila's birth, Josh and I were sitting on the couch snuggling with our little monkey and out of nowhere, the realization hit us - we're a family. That's right, we shot straight from partnership into family, all within a blink of an eye. One minute we're two people facing an abstract transition, while the next we're staring at our beautiful (and I mean beautiful!) baby girl.

I've wondered if this mix of emotion is normal. When I have my question mark moments, I feel guilty. You hear about so many women embracing what seems like the bliss of mommyhood, and here I am wondering what in the hell I've gotten myself into. But all it takes is a little grin, soft coo, or a tight grasp of my finger to turn my question mark moment into one with an exclamation point.


  1. And then comes the question...are we having fun yet?? LOL
    Great job on the blog and, oh yeah, on baby Leila. Thanks for the grandbaby, she is beautiful!

  2. Now you begin to understand the wonders of motherhood. I look at you and am in awe that I have such an amazing daughter and I feel so much pride. And you've gifted us with a beautiful granddaughter! You have been a real treasure to me and I'm sure Leila will be a delight to you. Your Grandma would have been so happy to be able to kiss those little cheeks of her namesake.
    Love always,

  3. Love this post! I can already tell yours is going to be one of those blogs that I actually read, rather than skim and look at pics :) lol
    You explained the emotional transition into motherhood perfectly.

  4. Mine are going on 4 and going on 6 and sometimes I STILL look at them and can't believe they are mine. It's all so....WEIRD. And when I was a kid, adults semed so grown up...but now I know they really weren't. They were probably drinking beer and telling fart jokes when the kids weren't around, just like our gang does after bedtime.

    Congrats. she is beautiful. Hang onto your pants, because you're in for a wild time.

  5. *L* You captured it perfectly, as far as I'm concerned. I was in the pediatrician's office at her first appointment, and one of the forms asked for the signature of the "parent or guardian." I swear I looked over my shoulder trying to find my mother! I can't quite believe that this is a life that Rob and I created, and that we are now responsible for it! And having her so completely dependent on us is awesome and terrifying. I'm finally starting to relax and not make sure she's still breathing every few minutes, but I have a feeling I'll be checking occasionally for quite awhile. :-)

    Oh, yeah. I have a blog on here. I looked--I created one post over two years ago. :-P My Live Journal gets updated slightly more often, but not much.


  6. Shari ... just to let you know you never stop checking on them ... Even when Jaclyn was in High School I used to go into her room at night and check to make sure she was still breathing. :)

  7. Hang in there girl you're in for one heck of a ride.
    I still cant believe some moments myself with Michael and he's going to be 18. Now that Gabriel's here it's very unreal for me.

  8. Great posts, Jackie. Well-written and heart-felt. Congrats on your beautiful baby girl.